Thursday, February 3, 2011

Sales Phone Calls: H8 I Love em!

--by Mike Adams

I was just reading a link my wife sent to The Bloggess, which made me laugh and reminded me of how I respond to marketing calls. I love marketing calls, I'll always take them when I have the chance. I'll listen for a while and at my first opportunity, I'll derail the sales pitch and try to steer it in a direction like this:

Me (stereotypical used car sales voice):
Have you ever tried the U CAN SELL ANYTHING method for these types of calls?

Caller:, I'm calling to find out if you have any interest in a six month subscription to (some magazine I could care less about)

Right, but have you closed this deal yet...that's the most important fact, in sales, that's always the most important question. So, I ask you...have you closed this deal yet?

Are you asking, I haven't...what!?

Exactly my point, do you realize that if you were using my patented U CAN SELL ANYTHING method, you could probably have closed this deal and already be calling someone else. You could probably double your sales in no time. Have you heard of this new powerhouse method of sales?

Uhhhh...Sir, do you think you might be interested in a six month subscription of (some idiotic magazine that I couldn't give a crap about) for 1/4 the cost of what you would pay at the news rack?

Now you are getting my point aren't you. The answer is that I might be interested in it if you were selling it to me effectively...not only might I be interested in it, the question you'd be asking is how many subscriptions do I want to buy? One for my spouse, for my parents, etc... So let me ask you again, have you heard of my patented U CAN SELL ANYTHING program? You should go check out my web sit www.sellanything2anyone.crap before you make one more call, you'll be thanking me on your next pay check!

Well, I'm gonna have to get going now, you have a nice day ok...bye! (click)

I hang up the phone feeling satisfied with myself and entertained for my efforts.