tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3109627201567905090.post1088901424755571592..comments2020-05-05T23:31:26.927-06:00Comments on All things reasonable...except the ones I forgot: Popularity of Bullying Remains HighMichael L. Adamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17404336794967277940noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3109627201567905090.post-54329951243436699582012-05-08T22:09:24.238-06:002012-05-08T22:09:24.238-06:00Personally, I don't think you are off line at ...Personally, I don't think you are off line at all Jane. It does, in my experience, feel like being bullied. I think, however, that in general, passive aggressive people have the experience of not having power in their relationship, so I don't believe they'll think their bullying anyone, rather they will think that they are being bullied. That is a really thought provoking direction for looking at this topic Jane, thanks!@NativeMikeAdamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08446931065863021549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3109627201567905090.post-91466302186106658352012-05-08T20:12:19.625-06:002012-05-08T20:12:19.625-06:00Along these same lines...
What your post brought ...Along these same lines...<br /><br />What your post brought up for me is the idea that passive-aggressive behavior is the most insidious pervasive form of bullying out there - at least, for adults. Passive-aggressive people may not physically beat up their prey or overtly harass and torment them, but anyone who has been on the receiving end of a persistently passive-aggressive relationship will know what it's like to be bullied.<br /><br />Am I deliriously off kilter with that line of thinking?Just Janehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02861216483398553225noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3109627201567905090.post-54809849216610411322012-05-04T21:07:56.357-06:002012-05-04T21:07:56.357-06:00Thanks Elaine, I've spent a lot of time thinki...Thanks Elaine, I've spent a lot of time thinking about our society and bullying. Thanks for stopping by to read and comment.@NativeMikeAdamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08446931065863021549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3109627201567905090.post-39012857491179146162012-05-04T20:41:20.447-06:002012-05-04T20:41:20.447-06:00Also...kudos to you for participating on that pane...Also...kudos to you for participating on that panel and making sure your son knows you have his back. My hat is off to you! Thank You!@NativeMikeAdamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08446931065863021549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3109627201567905090.post-48799744216789046962012-05-04T20:40:07.497-06:002012-05-04T20:40:07.497-06:00I agree with you. Bullying among adults is difficu...I agree with you. Bullying among adults is difficult to deal with, because there is almost never any physical aspect to it. I'm so glad to hear your son is standing up for other people. I feel we really need more courageous people like that, those who are willing to stand up and say, "Stop that! It is not OK to treat people like that, STOP!" My best friend in High School was gay and he often thought about killing himself. I didn't know what to do, how to reach out to him. It was very frightening. I hope someone can help the professor you mentioned.@NativeMikeAdamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08446931065863021549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3109627201567905090.post-57953395226164234082012-05-04T16:24:01.450-06:002012-05-04T16:24:01.450-06:00I so agree with you about our culture encouraging ...I so agree with you about our culture encouraging bullying with the so-called "reality" shows and the saturation of violence in our supposed entertainment. How can we expect children not to learn aggression when they see it all the time and see it rewarded? Great post, Mike.ElaineLKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00866201775130742517noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3109627201567905090.post-69746671963135383282012-05-04T11:57:43.614-06:002012-05-04T11:57:43.614-06:00I have no tolerance for bullying and see it almost...I have no tolerance for bullying and see it almost every day it seems in both children and adults. I was on a Gay? Fine by Me! panel a few weeks back as a (straight) parent advocate. One of the other panel members talked about a professor at an upstate new york university that was on mental leave because of the bullying by his PEERS due to his being gay. Broke my heart. I fear everyday for my 23 year old gay son and the bullying he is likely to receive. He is one of the most respectful young men I know and it's hard for him to balance the "turn the other cheek" approach with how to put a bully in his place. He's learning to stand up though (mostly for others) and his strength amazes me.Amy Morganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10613446967051981724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3109627201567905090.post-66165449736919092082012-05-04T01:41:49.540-06:002012-05-04T01:41:49.540-06:00Agreed, agreed...pretty much I think we agree! :-)...Agreed, agreed...pretty much I think we agree! :-)<br />Today, I heard about a bullying incident at a local theater production (community theater - all volunteers). Apparently, one of the people in charge of the production lost his temper a few times this week and yesterday, he was yelling and berating one of the volunteers, to the point where he began crying. People went and comforted the victim afterward, but people were to shocked and probably somewhat afraid to actually step in and tell the bully to stop. This is a problem that does not respect age. I am trying to figure out how I want to proceed in my community to make a difference with this. Somehow, I'm going to bully-proof this group of kids growing up now and I'm going to give them the confidence to stand up for someone else being bullied too. I just don't know how to do this yet!@NativeMikeAdamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08446931065863021549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3109627201567905090.post-60918543245883854032012-05-03T23:50:22.708-06:002012-05-03T23:50:22.708-06:00Bullying is an awful thing and somewhere down the ...Bullying is an awful thing and somewhere down the line, these bullies were made to be. The opposite of bullying is compassion, consideration and kindness. That's what todays kids need to be taught. It should be an epidemic. Kids now a days are dealing with so much pressure in a fast paced world. They need to stand together and support one another instead of squashing each other.<br /><br />By the way, adults can be bullies to children too.<br /><br />Nice post.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3109627201567905090.post-71190957094214975322012-05-03T23:16:38.344-06:002012-05-03T23:16:38.344-06:00I can relate to what you said. My experience with ...I can relate to what you said. My experience with being bullied in Middle School, prompted me to enroll my kids in Tae Kwon Do and I'm glad I did. I'm with you, I don't generally support violence, but I do support self defense. My kids haven't been bullied in school. My next project is to try and convince them to stand up for anyone who is being bullied...a much harder task for most people. Thanks for your experience with this and for weighing in on this topic!@NativeMikeAdamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08446931065863021549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3109627201567905090.post-81260786350553814712012-05-03T23:12:46.284-06:002012-05-03T23:12:46.284-06:00I know what you mean...I'm a mixture between t...I know what you mean...I'm a mixture between the idealist and the realist. Maybe I'm just practical? Thanks for your very thoughtful post. Excellent points!@NativeMikeAdamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08446931065863021549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3109627201567905090.post-83523062136067938222012-05-03T21:16:06.242-06:002012-05-03T21:16:06.242-06:00I wrote a paper on bullying several years ago, and...I wrote a paper on bullying several years ago, and the thing that stands out most to me now is that bullies need an audience. <br /><br />I raised my son to turn the other cheek, until he was in Jr.High and then I told him to wallop the next kid that smacked him for any reason. The answers are not easy ones. The principal had followed my son for three days to see if there was any type of instigating going on before I told him to take action. What he said to me at the end of those three days was, "in school there are sharks and shark bait, unfortunately your son is the bait." I clarified with him that he was doing nothing to instigate the situation, and he said he was not. Then I told him that I was going to tell my son to "smack" the next kid that hit him. I was told by the principal that I could not do that. In this case, it put an end to the bullying for my son. <br /><br />I'm not an advocate of violence, but I am also not an advocate of the doormat syndrome. He grew into a respectful man, who also felt he deserved the respect of others. <br /><br />Bullies... oh I better stop now. LOL...k~https://www.blogger.com/profile/17308736457276683273noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3109627201567905090.post-14873270124290308782012-05-03T08:19:55.062-06:002012-05-03T08:19:55.062-06:00Excellent, Mike.
I'm definitely one of those ...Excellent, Mike.<br /><br />I'm definitely one of those doe eyed idealists. I think the solution to almost all problems is simple. Really simple. Be good. Just that. Do what you know is right and everything else falls into place. Poverty, hunger, homelessness, war. All gone. Purposeful meanness? Nonexistent. Edging someone else out because they look, act, or see things differently? Would never happen.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3109627201567905090.post-88053351095767956322012-05-02T22:32:47.639-06:002012-05-02T22:32:47.639-06:00Thanks Jo, I remember reading something from you a...Thanks Jo, I remember reading something from you about how you stand up to bullies. I can't remember if it was one of your posts, or a comment you left on another blog. But I remember wishing that you had been around when I was in Middle School.@NativeMikeAdamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08446931065863021549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3109627201567905090.post-83123647769346818262012-05-02T20:10:50.762-06:002012-05-02T20:10:50.762-06:00Great piece of well thought out writing Mike. I ha...Great piece of well thought out writing Mike. I have often thought to myself as I watch some parents discipline their children with what I see as bullying tactics, how will they explain bullys are bad when the child repeats what he has been shown?<br />I remember saying once or twice as I swatted by son in toddlerdome, I will NOT do this when he is verbal and we can talk. His safety first, of course, but the swats did stop when words made sense to him.<br />I abhor bullys in my own life and find I am required to stand up to them just to be able to look myself in the mirror and I agree that we have and still are raising them. Makes me very sad.<br />♥Johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285427147723972295noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3109627201567905090.post-45492110847885377552012-05-02T14:27:42.931-06:002012-05-02T14:27:42.931-06:00Thanks for you thoughtful response. I hope this wi...Thanks for you thoughtful response. I hope this will generate discussion. It can be a pretty tough topic. I'd agree that not all of those points could apply to everybody. I was trying to encapsulate a more collective (from my point of view) set of societal deficiencies, which seem to encourage bullying behavior. Thanks again for stopping in to read and especially to comment Brenda!@NativeMikeAdamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08446931065863021549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3109627201567905090.post-33897611340128788822012-05-02T14:24:03.193-06:002012-05-02T14:24:03.193-06:00Thanks Gene Pool Diva! I think I know exactly what...Thanks Gene Pool Diva! I think I know exactly what you mean with this! Open acceptance can be so challenging (when I don't think someone deserves acceptance). Other than that, it is easy! LOL@NativeMikeAdamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08446931065863021549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3109627201567905090.post-47715456269678169772012-05-02T11:36:46.962-06:002012-05-02T11:36:46.962-06:00To answer your question, yes I can count on myself...To answer your question, yes I can count on myself. I disagreed on a couple of your points with respect to me personally and what I have taught my own children, but there were a few where I had to reconcile what I think with reality. I am a very much a live and let live kind of person and this I strive to gift to my own two children. I know my ideals are not shared and I as I wonder why they are not, I accept the person who is different in thought processing than I will ask the same of me. Should be an interesting discussion.brendahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05480258485472568272noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3109627201567905090.post-48072779917259754232012-05-02T07:42:14.454-06:002012-05-02T07:42:14.454-06:00Thought provoking. I'm not half the person my ...Thought provoking. I'm not half the person my parents are, but when I follow their example of good will, curiosity and open acceptance, I'm at my happiest.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com